Hobbies: It's not just about having fun (and even if it were, who cares?!)

 

Welcome and welcome back! I could say that year long break was because I was busy with work, school, the holidays, COVID, and the daily grind of life - which is true! The deeper truth is, I just haven't been making time for the things that I truly like to do. I've been checking off my "Have to" list and doing some self-care along the way, but haven't really been good about making the time for myself to do the things that really make me...well, me. I suspect that most of you haven't either which is why it's time for a real conversation about hobbies.

The Concept

Webster defines hobby as...blah blah blah. Okay, for real though. We all have a basic grasp on what a hobby is, but I honestly don't think we realize the importance of what a hobby does for us and our relationships. At this time, I'd like to refer you back to my blog posts on boundaries (https://theyogitherapist.blogspot.com/2020/08/boundaries-defining-and-protecting-me.html) and stress management (https://theyogitherapist.blogspot.com/2020/08/managing-stress.html). *play intermission music* Okay, did that? Here's the thing. Hobbies are one of the most basic tenants of both boundary setting AND stress management. Two of the most common topics in therapy (per me, Kira, your resident guru). Here's why:

Boundaries is about being yourself and protecting that authenticity. It's about knowing who you are, what's important to you, standing up for yourself, and living your true self. Boundaries separates you from other people. Being who we are and doing what we love helps us to love ourselves AND if you're with the right people, it's what others love about you. Having and (here's the kicker) actually doing the things that you love to do is you living genuinely. We all talk about living versus existing. Hobbies is about actually living your life versus existing day by day in the daily grind of work and cleaning (and dare I say it - TV *gasp*). 

Hobbies are Recovery

Stress management. So if you remember, stressors are things that drain our energy and stress management preserves our energy either by adding more or decreasing existing drains. Hobbies are a 2-for-1 deal here. Not only are hobbies good for boundary setting, but they also add to our energy stores because when you do something that you enjoy doing then you feel better. It sounds obvious, but we don't do it. And why don't we do it? Because we don't feel like we have time. Or we don't even know what our hobbies are. Or we feel like it requires money. I'm not going to lie, hobbies are an investment. Does writing poetry do the dishes? No. Does fishing make dinner? Okay, bad example. But you know what I mean. Obviously, on the surface, engaging in hobbies does not get things done, and we're stressed because things need done. Stay with me.

Hobbies are an investment. It's an investment in yourself, your energy, and your purpose. Could you live day to day doing only "the necessities" like cooking, cleaning, school, work, caring for kids, etc? Sure. Would you be happy? Doubt it. Would your relationships flourish? Probably not. Would you get resentful? Almost definitely. Would you have a hard time getting out of bed and feel unmotivated a lot of the time? I feel certain that you would, yes. So, while hobbies don't objectively get 'have-to's accomplished, they do make it more likely that you'll have the energy to do them another time AND increase your quality of life. You were made for more than stress. Life is more than dishes, laundry, driving, and work. At least, I sincerely hope so, otherwise what's the point?? 

Why It Matters

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be, and embracing who we actually are.” ~ Dr. Brené Brown

    One of my favorites things to tell clients is that stress management isn't just a bubble bath, a vacation, or a massage. Stress management is making the changes in your daily living to create a life that you don't feel the need to escape from. You only get one life. Each day only has 24 hours. They're going to tick by at the same pace whether you're stressed or happy. Think of all the times you've been so exhausted that you just veg out in front of the tv for hours (or a whole weekend). Think of the countless TikTok videos you scroll through. By prioritizing hobbies (and self-care), you become intentional with your time. I once heard if said that, "you're tired not because you've done too much, but because you've done too little of what sparks a flame in you" (attributed to Alexander Den Heijer). Your body needs rest. You can be intentional with the ways you rest and regain energy, or you can exhaust yourself to the point that you have no choice. It's up to you.

Action Item

1. Pick a hobby
2. Do it
3. I'd love to hear in the comments what you did and how it turned out!

Questions to Consider

• What are my biggest barriers to having fun?
• How can I overcome them?
• How can I prioritize having fun?
• How can I have fun alone? With other people?